KSFL macaroons. Sweet treats for tough days.

I got through that first week of being back on detox in the end. The headache lasted for five days on and off but it was worth it. I lost two pounds and half an inch in that week. My intention was to stay on detox for another week at least but that has gone out the window following a couple of emotionally tough days. Life in the Food Junkie household is generally fine at the moment, but there is a lot of Big Life Stuff going on in the background and it's taking its toll a bit.

So I resorted to a chocolate fondue as a cheat with a friend on Friday night. It was fabulous. Bananas, strawberries and some chunks of gluten free blueberry muffin dipped in a fondue made of dark chocolate and a glug of cream. Not too terrible as cheats go - and I let my friend lick the bowl out - but a cheat all the same.  That was meant to be it but then I'd forgotten the birthday party I was invited to at the local pub last night. I stuck to peppermint tea and water for the most part but a couple of shandies had found their way down my neck before the night was out.

And today I've been feeling a bit rough so I decided I needed a treat (again). This week isn't going well is it? But I'm trying to be as good as I can with my treat so I went online and did some recipe hunting. Here is my KSFL-friendly macaroon recipe. It's not all good, not at all, but it's not nearly as bad as reaching for the biscuit tin. They are devine too.

KSFL Macaroon Recipe

Makes 12-14 small macaroons.

100g dessicated coconut
2 tbs raw organic honey
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1 egg white, lightly beaten

Mix the coconut, honey and vanilla essence in a bowl until all the coconut is evenly coated with the honey, then mix in the beaten egg white. Once thoroughly combined press the mixture into the bowl of a spoon and turn out onto a tray covered in baking parchment. I used a tablespoon sized measuring spoon for a nice semi-spherical kind of shape. This made 13 small macaroons for me but the quantity would vary depending on the size of the spoon you use.

Pop them into a preheated oven at 180 degrees for 10-15 minutes until they're lightly browned. I overdid mine a bit so aim for something a bit lighter than the picture. Once they've cooled completely eat them as they are or drizzle with dark chocolate, if you must. Make them when you have lots of friends round so you don't end up eating them all yourself. I've managed to stop at two so far but the rest are talking to me...

Back on detox, with muffins

Last week I put myself back onto detox. I'm now on day 7 and it's finally starting to get easier. I thought it would be no problem given I did it so recently and am half way there the rest of the time these days too. But no, it sees I must have slipped much further into bad habits than I'd realised because it was far from pleasant this time too.

The main issue I think was the caffeine which I'd only introduced gradually until I picked up a new type of coffee when doing the groceries. It was one of these instant coffees that also has real ground beans in it, best of both worlds kind of idea. It was on special offer and it made a rather nice cup of coffee. However I noticed after a couple of days of drinking it that I was craving the stuff. I really wanted that coffee. Not any coffee, but THAT coffee. I have no idea how much caffeine was in the stuff or what else might have been in it to make it so addicted but for the first time in my life I was experiencing real coffee cravings. I knew then that I had to come off it but that I didn't stand a chance with a tub in the house so I gallantly worked my way through it. I had my last cup last Wednesday lunch time and I haven't touched caffeine since. The headache lasted for five days. Five days! Ugh.

The sugar come-down grumps were much, much less. I felt tetchy for a couple of days but a good workout would see me through those patches. I worked out three times in the first 48 hours, just for the endorphins. I found the not-snacking element hard too. I think that's the biggest habit slip I've let happen. I usually get through an apple or two a day, just grabbed on the fly, or a handful of nuts will find their way into my mouth whilst sitting at my desk. Nothing too terrible, but a pleasant break in the fast between meals. I've had to up my meal portions again to stave off the hunger, so I need to think about that too.

But otherwise, it's going well. Weigh in is tomorrow so we'll see then what effect it's had on the pounds and inches. I've decided I want to lose another stone and a half and get into size 12-14. It's the first time I've been able to really work out a target other than 'less than now'. In the future I may change that but for now that is such a huge world away from where I was that it seems a good goal. I've just shrunk to the larger end of a size 14 already. I can fasten the jeans, but I bulge over them in a rather unsightly manner so they're not fit for wear in public yet. I'm a size 14 on top though. It's all heading in the right direction. :)

I have a recipe for you too. Two actually! The first is a variation on back here but made more interesting with the addition of some extra veg content in a secretive manner that makes them more appealing to fussy kids. Here they are when I had them the other night, served with roast butternut quash, kale, the obligatory couple of gerkins and a big dollop of caponata (an aubergine, caper, olive and tomato side dish that is a favourite round here):

Here's the how to:

Hidden Veggie Beef Burgers

Ingredients

500g lean minced beef (it doesn't have to be lean I just prefer a lean cut when I have to get my hands in it so the fat is easier to wash off my hands after shaping)
1 egg
1 onion, finely chopped
1 handful fresh herbs of your choice (the ones above had lovage fresh from the garden which was delicious)
1 courgette, grated
You can also add a small grated carrot if you can take the carbs but I didn't this time
Oil of your choice, for cooking

Throw all the ingredients apart from the oil in a bowl and thoroughly mix it together with your hands. Shape it into burgers and fry over a medium-high heat in the oil until browned on both sides. This mix makes approx 8 burgers depending on how big you want them.

The other yummy treat I have to offer you today is breakfast muffins! I saw these online yesterday and had to give them a go. They're fab! This is my variation but there are others online and according to one site I saw you can keep them for several days in the fridge. I suspect there will be a bit of batch muffin making in my life in the near future.

KSFL Breakfast Muffins

Ingredients

Filling of your choice. I used the mix below but you could vary this in so many ways. Just use what's in your fridge and go crazy!

1 diced courgette
1 onion
a few tablespoons sweetcorn
1 finely sliced stick of celery
2 handfuls of chopped ham

6 eggs
salt and pepper

Makes 8 muffins

Fry the filling ingredients until slightly soft, if needed (I didn't fry the ham or sweetcorn in this case). Mix all the filling ingredients together and spoon into muffin cases in a muffin tray. Fill them to approx half way up. Beat the eggs with the salt and pepper to taste and pour into the case, filling them up to about 1cm shy of the top of the case to allow for rising. Pop into a preheated over at 180 degrees for 25-30 minutes and you're done! Yum!

Living the lifestyle long term

Today it's been exactly four months since I started my KSFL journey and I am still living the lifestyle. It's been modified, and my success varies week to week depending on what else is going on, but when I fall off for a while it doesn't take much to get back on track and I've learned that even the effects of a week off-plan can be reversed by a week back on detox.

I don't have quite the slim, toned body I used to have in my youth, but then I'm in my mid-thirties now and have had two children. I could still do with losing another stone and hopefully I will eventually, even if it takes a while but even if I don't I feel comfortable in my skin as I walk down the street right now. I can wear leggings and not feel as though I'm making people feel ill and pick up clothes off the rail that fit.

Take a peek:

I've made a few new observations and realisations recently. Rachel Stevenson, my KSFL trainer and mentor suggested back in February that we set ourselves a goal for Easter and that if we stuck to the plan we treat ourselves. My treat was meant to be a holiday but it got postponed at the last minute so instead I treated myself to some new training clothes. I got new workout trainers, new socks, new workout leggings and then I scored a fab cycling top in a charity shop that I now use for classes. These purchases revolutionised things for me. Seeing my reflection in them I looked like someone worthy of wearing them. I looked good! Not perfect by any means - I still have bulges and I'm broader than many of the other women in class, but I look toned and comfortable and OK. I have since taken to sometimes wearing trainers, and cut offs and sporty tops out in public too. I would never have dreamed of doing that before because people who wore those clothes were a world apart from me. They were fit people. They were people for whom exercise and fitness were so much a part of who they were that they didn't think twice about displaying it publicly, and they wore that identity with pride. That wasn't me.

Why I didn't believe it was me, I have no idea. In my mid teens my average week involved three hours of ju-jitsu training, two of stage dance classes, one of badminton and walking a minimum of fifteen miles plus whatever we did in PE at school. Once I got to my late teens the dancing and PE finished but I started getting into weights, and the odd bit of running, but for some reason being fit never really meant anything. That was just what I did for fun. And then I got into my twenties, got stuck into a career that involved sitting at a desk for hours on end and got into a comfortable relationship that although it started off with us both being fit (we got to know each other as we spotted for each other whilst weight training) soon evolved into lots of cosy nights in on the sofa. And then the kids came. So I was unfit for a decade but before that I was consistently exercising regularly and I am again now. I don't intend to stop. I'm even starting martial arts classes again next week!

So now I am reclaiming an identity that was always there for the taking but that I didn't value myself and my investment in my own health and wellbeing enough to claim.

Hello world. I am Gina. I am fit. I am healthy. I am happy. I am going to work as hard as I have to to stay that way and if I wear trainers in public it's my way of shouting out to the world that I am proud of the way I am looking after myself now.

Thank you KSFL and Rachel for giving me the tools I needed to get here.